I specialise in working with separated parents to help them best meet the needs of their children. I prefer to offer a flexible approach that is tailored to each couple or family rather than following a rigid process.
Family consultancy is a means of problem-solving and resolving issues that arise during divorce, separation or in other family matters. At the start, separating couples often need a space to talk about what they don’t agree about and to explore what it means to be separated parents. Working in this way is generally far more cost effective than legal processes such as court and most importantly, helps clients make their own decisions which often generate much better outcomes for them and their families.
Family consultancy is voluntary – because you choose to come into meetings with me, the decisions you take are far more likely to be lasting compared to a decision that might be imposed upon you by the court. The process is also confidential meaning that discussions can take place and options explored without there being any threat of the material being used elsewhere.
I do my best to remain impartial; I am on both your sides and especially the children’s. I will not make judgements or give advice, but I can guide you and help you think about what the future might look for you and your family. I will encourage you to seek legal advice from your solicitor and you may wish to ask them to handle the financial side of divorce and to complete the legal formalities of your divorce or separation.
How does it work?
When working with couples, I always meet with both clients on an individual basis before progressing to joint meetings. As part of best practice, my job is to assess very carefully at the start of the process and to determine with clients, what approach is going to be most beneficial and if there are other professionals that need to be involved. The really good thing is that it can work as a flexible, creative pathway.
Family consultancy is generally a brief intervention which support clients prior, during and post the divorce or separation process. Family relationships change, they don’t break down – this process supports you through that change, helping you to:
- Identify and prioritise your concerns and work towards resolving them on both a practical and an emotional level
- Help you manage your emotions, concerns and needs and find ways of coping with the impact of separation
- Minimise conflict, improve communication and reduce misunderstandings
- Create arrangements and agreements that are in the best interests of the children
- Develop a workable parenting plan and enhance your ability to co-parent, now and in the future
- Adjust to the changes in key relationships and seek to look forward to the future
The starting point is for us to arrange an initial consultation when you can tell me what I need to know, what you need to feel comfortable and for me to give you information. In the first instance, you might choose to send me the completed Client Information Form (found in Downloads). Some people find that a couple of sessions are enough; others meet with me throughout the divorce or separation process.
“Mutual parenting means that whatever else is or is not going on in your relationship with each other – today, this month or next year – you are jointly committed to putting your children’s wellbeing and happiness first and to protecting them as far as you can from ill-effects following your separation. The most important word in that sentence is ‘jointly’.” Penelope Leach, Family Breakdown
